Note: The books, music, etc., listed weren’t necessarily released in 2012. Nor were they read and/or experienced in 2012. Some were, some weren’t, and some never will be
Best Book Title
TIE! Another Bullshit Night in Suck City by Nick Flynn and My Pet Serial Killer by Michael J. Seidlinger
Best Book Title of a Book I Probably Won’t Read
Another Bullshit Night in Suck City by Nick Flynn
The Wackness, always and forever. Luke Shapiro you are my power animal
Best Lit Mag Corey Zeller was Published In
All of them, but probably NY Tyrant
Best Literary Journal
Safety Pin Review (I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, they’re the only journal I know that is truly innovating the way we read literature). An honorable mention is due to Birdfeast, a new online journal. They have it all: good poems, an aesthetically pleasing layout, the non-debatable best name ever, and a rad ass editor (Jess Poli say word).
Francis and Jonas Seymour
Best Rat Named After a Literary Character
Jonas Seymour (his middle name is after Seymour Glass)
Best MF DOOM Song
Microwave Mayo, with an honorable mention to Gazillion Ear, and Cellz (Cellz would have won if it didn’t have an annoying minute plus Burroughs except at the start)
Best MF DOOM lyric
“Crime pays no dental or medical / unless you catch retirement / county, state or federal”
Best Holiday Gift
I bought my dad two pounds of Fudge. Fuck with it, yo
Cheddar Jack Cheese Itz
Best Band from Arizona with More than Four Members
Best Band from Arizona with Less than Four Members
How the fuck should I know?
Best Band I Listened to This Year
Best Band I Listened to Ever
Best Song about Finding God
Best Song about Finding the Devil
Acid Song by Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains
Best Pat the Bunny Lyric
“Well I’ve been listening to Minor Threat records all day and shit if I do not know every word” (This isn’t really Pat’s best lyric, but it’s my favorite right now)
Best Worst Pat the Bunny Lyric
“Oi, oi, oi, oi”
Best Unpublished Manuscript
Partners by Simon Jacobs. This shit be ill yo. Simon has it in to a competition right now and I expect it to be published quite soon.
That Death Star one I made
Best Person to Leave Florida
Fuck you Greg Sherl
Best Book From Greg Sherl in 2012
All of them
Best Chapbook of Mine in 2012
Best Girl I Wrote a Chapbook About
Best Fight I Got Into
With a senior citizen about whether I could park my car overnight in a guest spot at an apartment complex. Things escalated and he beat me with a lead pipe. I’m fairly certain I’m joking.
Best Natural Disaster
“Go, go gadget dick / whippedthat shit out and ain’t no doubt about it / it caused an earthquake and a poweroutage”
Other People with Brad Listi. I have nothing snarky to say here. Quality radio type interview program.
Best Book I Read
TIE! Victory by Ben Kopel and Scary, No Scary by Zachery Schomburg. An honorable mention to This Is A Flood by Holly Amos.
Best Book I’m Currently Reading
TIE! Beautiful Outside by Nick Strum (a killer PDF chapbook from H_ngm_n) and Although Of Course You End up Becoming Yourself by David Lipsky
Best Book Published by H_ngm_n Press
Victory by Ben Kopel. This book kind of changed my life. Possibly it is the perfect poetry collection. Certainly it is wonderful, and dense, and infinitely reread-able.
Best TV show
Breaking Bad. For years I would have said Mad Men (and really, what a great show it is), but oh man did Breaking Bad win me over with their fifth season.
Best Video Game
Mario Kart 64
Best Video Game that’s Not Mario Kart 64
Best Best Of List
Best Time I Caught Dome at 4 a.m. in the Backseat of my Toyota Corolla
The 5th time, and what the hell, did I really just write “caught dome”?